what Jen Gotch taught me about perfectionism

I read The Upside of Being Down for several reasons: I love ban.do, I’m interested in mental health, I love memoirs, and the title is catchy af. I wish that were my title.

I’m glad I did. Not only is the book title catchy af, Jen’s experience with perfectionism is relatable af. It’s cathartic to read about similar experiences so I hope this post helps you. Today I’m going to write a brief post about her best perfectionism points. They are chef’s kiss!

Number one – Perfectionism recovery is gonna take time

Changing your entire perspective on what is good enough and what isn’t takes time and experience.

Jen quote 1

The words “good” and “enough” do not exist in that order for perfectionists. There’s no good enough. There’s “not good” and there’s “just right” (perfect). Beginning to believe in the “good enough” is a lofty but necessary goal for perfectionists and it takes time.

Number two – Remember greatness? It’s a thing

Although holding ourselves and our work to impossible standards is unhealthy, aspiring to greatness is certainly a worthy pursuit.

Jen quote 2

As perfectionists, we think “if not perfect, then what?!?!” Jen answers the question for us. The answer is if not perfection, then greatness. When we disentangle ourselves from perfection, we’re not taking away good or great or wonderful, just limiting the beliefs that come from fear.

Number three – Consider some self-acceptance

Self-acceptance is the antidote to self-doubt, and it’s kryptonite for perfection.

Jen quote 3

We’re often reminded that while talking to kids, it’s helpful to put commands in the positive. For example, we may say “please use walking feet” instead of “no running.” What if the same goes for adults? What if, when trying to recover from a perfection-oriented lifestyle or mindset, our mantra becomes “practice self-acceptance” instead of “no more perfectionism”?

Doesn’t reading this post make you want to read Jen’s book? Or maybe even…. a YSN book? That may be in the works. Until then, check out Jen’s.

P.S. in case we haven’t met…

you seem normal is a mental health medium run by 24-year-old communication professional (hello!) who… well, seems normal.  Turns out, my roommate is mental illness. Actually more like my unborn, and non-conceived baby. Because it’s like, inside of me. This is getting weird already. Topics of focus: self-awareness (we love it), mood, anger management, perfectionism, relationships & boundaries.

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