all or nothing thinking – MHM video analysis

Today I decided to film a day of my life video because this is a period of my life that I don’t think I’ll be in again (without a job and with little responsibilities).

You’ll find that my Day in the Life was cut short when my mood swung from hopeful and productive and happy to (not shown) lethargic, defeated and depressed.  So, watch the video below to get a glimpse into my on-a-good-morning Routine and my bounce back at 8 p.m.

When I didn’t feel I was making progress (even though I probably was) on my job search and application process, I started to invite the negative thoughts into my head and I believed them.  So why continue my lack of progress if I’m not going to get an interview anyway?  If I’m not good enough, if a company doesn’t have the decency to send a mass “sorry, but you aren’t it” email when they proceed with another candidates.

That’s where the thoughts start.  They usually continue with my thinking of “normal” folks who can go from one activity to the next, always doing something.  Enjoying their productivity, then their hobbies, etc. but if I’m not doing the exact thing I set out to do today — job search and application process — then I shouldn’t be allowed to do anything at all.  No reading, watching, cleaning, cooking, gramming.  So I’ll just go lay in my bed then.  Because it’s either my one (HUGE and UNREALISTIC and UN-BROKENDOWN) task or absolutely nothing.

That, my friends, is called ALL OR NOTHING (or black and white) THINKING, one of the Thinking Sins in depression.  Y’all I’m the freaking QUEEN of all or nothing thinking.  According to Healthline, here are some of my FAVORITE all or nothing thinking words:

• always
• never
• impossible
• disaster
• furious
• ruined
• perfect

All or nothing thinking sounds pretty ridiculous when you read my example, right?  I was only allowing myself to do TWO THINGS?  

But…. what all or nothing thoughts do you entertain?