youseemnormal

When we seek mental health care, it’s very often when we are at our lowest. Symptoms we’ve been experiencing for years we’ve been shoving down and convincing ourselves we are perfectly fine. Then, if you finally get the chance to be honest with yourself, and be brave, you reach out for help. For some, this looks like seeking therapy.

The irony lies in the fact that we are at our lowest point, and yet we are required to have the patience, wherewithal and right mind to jump through hoops and fuck around with phone calls and prior authorizations and phone tag and insurance and billing and scheduling around obligations and also talking on the phone and repeating your story-slash-problems over and over again until once again you start to doubt yourself. Well, now that I can summarize my problems in 2 sentences, it doesn’t sound all that bad, you think. Do I really need to go through with this? you ask.

It’s a complex process to shop for a therapist and establish care, so this is the second part in a three-part series about doing just that. If you missed the first post, you can read it here.

Now assuming you’ve read part one, we all know that I’ve narrowed down my therapist options to a handful. Then I called the clinic to schedule an appointment with one who is accepting new patients. This means that now it’s my time to prep for the first appointment, also called an intake appointment by 1. summarizing my woes and 2. planning the questions I’ll be asking the therapist.

In part three, we’ll talk about how to evaluate how the session went and what to do next.

Intake appointment prep

Intake appointment prep usually includes paperwork, such as payment forms and consent forms. This time around therapist shopping, though, I happen to be seeking a new therapist at the same clinic. This means the clinic already has my payment and consent forms on record. Basically I fast-forwarded through this step—an often (always) very (superduper) annoyingly frustrating step that is a barrier to care.

In an intake appointment, the therapist is required to ask a bunch of standard questions, including questions about your lifestyle, who you live with, what’s your job, describe your psychiatric history and tell me a bit about what your goals for this next therapy round may be.

We know all of this information, but I find it helpful to jot down a few notes ahead of time anyway. This allows me to get the uhhhhhs out of my system before the session.

I start with a short synopsis of my mental health and illness throughout my life. Some of us could write a book on the topic (……… me) while others would rather reveal just a sentence’s worth of information.

It’s hard to gauge how much detail to go into on this very first meeting. After all, they may not turn out to be your next therapist, which means telling them your story was kind of a waste. (While that may not always be true, it feels like a waste to me if I’m in this situation. It’s the same thing with a first date.) My best thinking is to provide an overview, sticking to the gist of things. If or when they ask follow up questions, you can share any specifics as you are willing and able.

Here’s what I include in my bird’s-eye view:

• List of my diagnoses—not because diagnoses are the end-all, be-all or define you, but because using these terms can get your therapist up to speed
• List of my top struggles over the years, specifically what’s currently been affecting me in the past 1-2 years
• A history on any mental health care in the past, including childhood, teenage years and on and on. May include previous therapy eras, hospitalizations or psychiatric medications.

During the intake appointment: Questions to ask them

Your most effective therapist is going the one who can help you make progress on your therapy goals. The relationship is compatible and supportive, and one in which you are challenged to continue learning and putting in the work. An effective therapist has good intentions and care about you (in a normal client way), is supportive and makes progress with you on your goals.

You can seek someone who feels like they can relate to you in ways but remember that you’re not looking for your new best friend. You’re looking for a medical professional.

And this is your time to interview them.

I also realize you can’t be TOO choosy — you need an available person without a superlong wait time, and those are really hard to come by right now. But I do want to draw attention to a balance between the two, if you end up in that situation.

Questions to ask a new therapist

• How do you further your education?
• Do you have experience with patients who (FILL IN WHY YOU’RE THERE)?
• What is your homework/outside of session philosophy?
• I’m looking for a therapist who (FILL IN THE BLANK). Do you think we are the right fit? Some clinics and therapists will make it clear that they want you to fit the best fit. In general, stick with these therapists and psychology centers.

My appointment is this week and it’s virtual. Wish me luck!

Jump over to part 3 which covers how I evaluate my first impressions and asses next steps.

P.S. in case we haven’t met…

youseemnormal is a mental health platform run by a 26-year-old (hello!) who… well, seems normal. Turns out, my roommate is mental illness. Actually more like my unborn, and non-conceived baby. Because it’s like, inside of me. This is getting weird already.

Topics of focus: self-awareness (we love it), mood, anger management, perfectionism (and obsessive compulsive personality disorder), relationships & boundaries.