youseemnormal

Disclaimer: The idea of therapist shopping is one of a certain privilege. Not everyone who may seek therapy or related services has the resources or capacity to dedicate to making decisions beyond asking for that first appointment. Some of what I talk about in this series is not going to apply to or help everyone. Take what helps and leave the rest.

Finding a new therapist is a topic that cannot be covered in a single post. So I created a three-part series, and this is the final part. In part 1, we covered therapist “shopping” and research. In part 2, we dug into preparing for a first appointment.

By now in the finding-a-new-therapist process, it’s time to check in and see how things are going. Not every client/therapist relationship is going to be a great fit. How do we know when to “stick with it” and declare “good enough,” and how do we know when to keep shopping?

First impressions worksheet

Enter: The first impressions worksheet. This worksheet helps you quantify and record your first impressions with the therapist.

I created the questions based on my key values and priorities for what I would like my experience to be. It adds a bit of data and objectivity to first impressions which can be based on gut and likability. These also help me know what to look for while I’m in the sessions. You can feel free to add or subtract or tweak any of the questions to better suit you.

Remember: you’re not looking for a new best friend. You’re looking for an effective therapist, someone who is professional, human, and leads clients toward the client’s goals. Read more about an effective therapist in therapy shopping part 2.

The worksheet asks yes or no questions:

Y N | I feel seen.

Y N | They seem knowledgeable.

Y N | They provided thoughts, exercises or tool suggestions that could be useful to me.

Y N | Their treatment philosophy is up my alley.

Y N | Their general vibe is up my alley.

Y N | They seem to have good experience.

Y N | Their office space is up to par.

Y N | The commute is okay with me, even if I have to go weekly.

I complete a separate worksheet for each of the first 3ish sessions. (That is, if I get that far. Other times I’ve had only stuck around for one appointment because the psychologist had never heard of my diagnosis.)

The more yeses on the first impressions worksheet, the better.) I encourage you to notice any patterns across the copies. What is consistent over the three appointments? What is worth asking about before proceeding?

And now for all the other factors to consider

The first impressions worksheets is a tool, not THE thing by which you make your decision. A large part of making the decision if your therapist is “good enough” is realizing therapist shopping can’t happen in a vacuum. There are a variety of factors to consider before deciding you want to continue therapist shopping, including:

• Insurance limitations
  • what your policy covers
  • what’s considered in network / out of network
  • what your deductible is
• Price, even with insurance
  • it’s wise to ask for a calculation or estimate
• Availability — are they accepting new clients and if so, will you be able to get appointments at the frequency you’re looking for? A therapist could be accepting new patients, but if you’re only going to be able to see them twice a year, that might not be ideal.
• Virtual or in-person
• The therapist’s specialty areas and how important that is to you
• The capacity you have right now to continue therapist shopping

Considering these factors and getting the facts can take a significant amount of work and time, and a heightened level of self advocacy. It can be very, very frustrating. Plus, deciding to continue therapy shopping can significantly increase the time you have to wait to get that next first appointment. You could be waiting for as long as several months or as little as a week. And of course, the next therapist you meet could be even less ideal than the first one.

Honestly, it can be a crapshoot, but it’s helped me to make things into a list format (like the bullet points above) and assess a little more objectively through the first impressions worksheets. It gives me more confidence in my decision making. This is not to say it’s not hard.

I don’t say any of this to stop you in your decision to keep shopping around. I say this so you can stay prepared and less chronically discouraged during your therapy shopping journey.

That is the end of this series — for now. Don’t forget to download and use the first impressions worksheet!

P.S. in case we haven’t met…

youseemnormal is a mental health platform run by a 26-year-old (hello!) who… well, seems normal. Turns out, my roommate is mental illness. Actually more like my unborn, and non-conceived baby. Because it’s like, inside of me. This is getting weird already.

Topics of focus: self-awareness (we love it), mood, anger management, perfectionism (and obsessive compulsive personality disorder), relationships & boundaries.