youseemnormal

Today my therapist gave me permission to frog my WIPs—in other words, undo/destroy/rid myself of any in-progress craft projects (”works in progress”) that I’ll probably never finish. It’s the crochet and knitting equivalent to DNFing a book.

Ahead of the new year, I’m blessed with MANY days off work. As per usual, with space and unstructured time comes worrying… that I’ll spend the time worrying, so we spent the therapy session today planning my break. One thing I mentioned wanting to do was organizing and decluttering my craft, office and stationery supplies.

My therapist asked if I’m a keeper of unfinished projects and, if so, if I felt any type of way about them. Of course, dear therapist. Having a physical reminder of stuff I’ve set out to do but have since abandoned is preferred way to maintain a baseline level of guilt at all times.

No, really. I have drawers and boxes of WIPs that I continue to take inventory of every time I re-organize and re-declutter. I don’t frog them and I don’t get rid of them. Instead, I put them on a to-do list. Something that started as exciting and fun for me has become a chore.

Making peace with frogging WIPs comes from thinking about why—and how—I started that project in the first place. I’ve found the reason I started the project is almost never the reason I feel the need to finish it. Isn’t that interesting? I start because I feel inspired and joyful and entertained. I feel the need to finish something so my joy, time and money don’t go to waste. (Because, apparently, you should be allowed joy only if you can show a finished product?? Make it make sense!) Also, I feel the need to virtuously hold true to what I wanted in that moment 5 years ago when I picked up a crochet hook to make a festive table runner. I’m not the same person anymore.

If you can relate, I want you to know there’s no waste in enjoyment. Because that enjoyment existed, whatever it was cannot be a waste. I feel like Ms. Kondo: Thanks for sparking that joy in the past/when you did. I’ve gotten all the enjoyment out of this I can get.

Saying goodbye to the projects that represent my guilt and perfectionism clears up much more than physical space. It lifts a massive psychic weight. It sends me a message that my current joy matters. Enjoying something in the past doesn’t mean I have to feel the same way now, just like my current joys don’t tie down my future self. My hobbies can and will change. Hobbies are meant for impermanence in the best way. (After all, what is the self if not impermanent?)

As the P points out, frogging your WIPs is progress. And it paves the way for future joys. Past you would be proud.

Let go of the pressure to finish all of your projects for the sake of fitting them into a certain calendar year. ❤️