youseemnormal

Recently I received a message that said:

I understand this question to my core, because I’ve been there too. What is this mysterious activity all about? People sing its praises, but… how does one?

I’m going to give you some food for thought today. And the entree is this: Limiting beliefs (lies) are holding us back from doing anything unfamiliar to us. They unearth themselves when we’re curious about trying something new and are especially present ahead of activities meant to be simple and unrestricted. Limiting beliefs are the perfectionism and the anxiety talking, not you.

On the internet, we often see what journaling “should” and “shouldn’t” look like according to people who…don’t know us. Hearing and seeing these messages, even if they’re not explicit, keep them sticky in our minds, which seem to be in constant pursuit of doing things right. Our perfectionist brains want to do things right even when a “right” and a “wrong” literally do not exist. Let me say it again: What we’re seeking does not exist.

I’m going to challenge you to challenge these weird limiting beliefs (lies) that make it hard to pick up the notebook (or open the Word doc. Or voice memos app) and self reflect.

In case you stop reading right here, I’ll give you the one key takeaway, the fortune cookie, ginger candy or mint: Don’t listen to anyone who thinks there are rules for journaling. There’s only one rule and that’s that there are no rules. (This no-rules rule has been my mantra lately and it’s the best thing ever as someone who has been clinically diagnosed with a personality disorder that has a key manifestation of worshipping rules.)

LIMITING BELIEFS (LIES) WE’RE TOLD ABOUT JOURNALING:

• What you’re writing has to be deep and profound.
• What you’re writing has to be good.
• What you’re writing will most certainly be read again. (Isn’t that the point?)
• You have to hit a certain page count, word count or amount of time spent.
• You have to do it ___ times per day, week, month. (In other words, you have to be consistently consistent or not do it at all.)
• You have to do it at a certain time of day.
• Sentences, you must use them
• It has to make sense.
• You should use a fancy/cute/aesthetic journal (I might even encourage you to start with a plain or ugly journal to discourage perfectionism and our weird, Internet-made obsession with aesthetics. But then again, a cute notebook could be motivating. To each their own!)
  – You shouldn’t use a fancy/cute/aesthetic journal.
• Journaling is always a good idea. Hot take: If you’re in a dark place, it might not be great to continue the same thought cycle over and over ad infinitum. For reflecting on trauma specifically, I recommend consulting with a professional first.

FUNCTIONS OF JOURNALING:

People journal for all sorts of reasons and benefits. Establishing WHY you want to get into journaling is what will ultimately help you stick with it and create a routine that works for you.

Functions of journaling include:

1. To brain dump
2. To aid in increasing creativity
3. To think through things
4. To write more
5. To archive your life or seasons of your life
6. To help you be more productive or taking steps towards goals
7. To have fun (what?!?!?!!? Yeah. You’re allowed to have some fun with it.)

Which of these apply to you? Your answer can narrow down the type(s) of journaling made for you.

“TYPES” OF JOURNALING:

Not everything needs to fit into a category or have a label. But I labeled some “types” of journaling so you can begin picturing yourself in action.

First thing’s first—variables:

Journaling can be:

• Digital, analog or a combination of both
• Guided, unguided or a combination of both
• Often, somewhat often or “it depends”

Ideas for Unguided Journaling

Unguided journaling is unrestricted in the contents and prompts.

• Stream of consciousness or brain dump — No rhyme and no reason. Anything that comes up is worthy of the page. Get it all out!
• Voice memos to yourself or using an app
• Morning Pages by Julia Cameron* — A type of rigid stream of consciousness journaling. That sounds oxymoronic, but that’s what it is.
• Hit it and quit it (deleteeee/trash) — Whether you write analog or digitally, immediately trash it when you’re done.

Ideas for Guided Journaling

I define guided journaling as having a set prompt or topic.

• Prompts: responding to questions.
  • There are so many journaling prompts on the internet. Note that a journal prompt is just a fancy term for a question you pose to yourself. Find a list on Pinterest and/or start curating your own. Having a list of questions collected in advance eliminates the barrier of having to go search for something to respond it. Be sure to have varying levels of “emotional heaviness” across the prompts. An overwhelming amount of deep prompts can turn you off from writing.
• Gratitude journaling: keeping a list of things you’re grateful for.
• Interest-based journaling: writing about what you’re passionate about.
  • Story journaling — the idea of writing one thing from the day or week that could make an interesting story. I haven’t tried this yet but I love the idea.
  • Travel journaling: keeping record of trips you’ve been on or want to go on; writing while traveling
  • Book journaling*: keeping track of books you’ve read and what you thought of them. An IRL GoodReads.
  • Food journaling
  • Goal journaling
  • Tarot journaling
  • Fitness journaling*

*indicates the ways I journal most consistently.

A quick de-influencing moment before we move into affirmations: Skip the journals that have a page for every day if, when you miss a day, you’re going to get down on yourself. Go for plain, any-day pages.

AFFIRMATIONS TO KEEP YOU GOING:

Reviewing my hand-crafted affirmations and reminders helps me when I feel resistant to journaling… but also called to it in the same moment. Some of mine are:

• There are no rules.
• It’s not that deep
• It’s all “right.” (Also could be read as “It’s alright.”)
• Mundane is beautiful. So is simple.
• You and your Inner Censor/Perfectionist are two different entities.

Remember, cooperating with the pressure that you invented is not something you owe yourself.

If you give journaling the ol’ college try and it doesn’t work for you, that’s great too! Journaling is one of the many ways we can self reflect. It just so happens to be constantly trendy.

P.S. in case we haven’t met…

youseemnormal is a mental health platform run by a 26-year-old (hello!) who… well, seems normal. Turns out, my roommate is mental illness. Actually more like my unborn, and non-conceived baby. Because it’s like, inside of me. This is getting weird already.

Topics of focus: self-awareness (we love it), mood, anger management, perfectionism (and obsessive compulsive personality disorder), relationships & boundaries.