my therapist quit (or something). here’s part 1 of how i find a new one.

Two months ago my therapist told me he was leaving the practice (and maybe the profession? It’s unclear). Do I think it’s because of me? No. But I may never know…

Jokes aside, establishing care with a new psychotherapist requires 1. reflection and 2. research. Oh, and plenty of other ingredients. Having had more than a handful of new therapists in my lifetime, I’m here to share my therapist shopping routine.

There are all sorts of caveats and privileges that I benefit from when it comes to my mental health care. I want to acknowledge that before getting started. Note that I’m only able to talk about my own experience – that’s what I’m an expert in.

The first thing I did was a bit of ~reflection.~

Step I: Reflection

A misconception about therapy is that you have to be in it forever. That’s just not the case. I’m a firm believer that therapy is for when you need it. Therapy doesn’t have to be every week for the rest of your life. Therapy is a way to support our mental and emotional health goals, and learn and practice the tools we need to live your life more fully — alongside a certified expert.

My therapist leaving was the perfect time to assess if I still needed therapy right now, or if this was a natural time to take a break.

I’ll tell you — the assessment didn’t take too long. Because I could think of a list of things I wanted to work on right off the top of my head, I knew I wanted/needed to continue at this point in my life.

Other times, the answer hasn’t been so obvious. (This was me, then.)

During these times, I consider:

upcoming life changes,
effectiveness of current medication,
if I have or can define a sustainable and realistic plan to continue my healing work, and
my therapist’s opinion.

Step II: Research

Step one? Done. Onto the next: where to get said therapy.

Because I was seeing a provider from a practice of many therapists, I started to research the other professionals there.

Quick note: The fact that I already knew the practice was a time-saver and stress reducer. It was like hitting the fast forward button. You might not be in the same boat. You may in prior authorization/insurance/phone call/no insurance/coverage/billing/scheduling/deductible hell. For the sake of the length of this post, I will only be covering what I’m experiencing this time around, which, amazingly, didn’t include Hell.

Bringing up the practice’s website on Safari, I’m impressed. Not all practices have public bios of their providers on their website. I read through all of them and screenshotted a handful along the way. I screenshot somewhat liberally with the idea that I can narrow down the options later. After all, in this situation (that is, the shitshow that is mental health care in America), it’s better to have a few ideas than it is to narrow in on one person without knowing that person’s availability or if they’re accepting new patients. Or, honestly, if they still work there.

Here’s what I care about when researching new therapists:

Here’s a list of things I look for when reading through therapist bios. Note that you might be looking for very different things than I am.

The therapist works with clients who have concerns similar to mine. I looked for professionals who are likely to have something to offer me.
The therapist primarily works with clients of my demographic. This includes age, gender, race, culture, etc. For example, I’m no longer an adolescent patient, and not yet a geriatric patient. Are there any on the list who specialize in life transitions? This might work for a college student or recent grad.
The therapist primarily works in the style I am seeking (individual therapy). The therapist mostly works with individuals rather than family or couples therapy.
The therapist’s philosophy seems to align with my beliefs—or, if they don’t align perfectly, I am open to learning about them.
The therapist’s treatment methods aligns with what I am seeking/I am open to/I am willing to try. CBT? DBT? EMDR? Humanistic? Art therapy? That Freudian stuff?

You get the gist. I hope this gives you some sort of insight into my starting point.

Here’s what I don’t care about when researching new therapists:

Here’s a list of things I don’t pay attention to when reading through therapist bios. This can and will differ from your list.

The therapist’s age or years of experience.

It’s hard to trust a therapist, a doctor, anyone who doesn’t have a ton of experience. But I find that seeking care with a new or young health care provider means they can just “get things” characteristic of my generation.

Also, professionals are trained by professionals, and (from what I know) are required to do rotations in actual clinics or other health care settings during their studies.

Finally, years of experience doesn’t necessarily equal how effective they are or will be with you. I had one tenured therapist say to me, “I’ve never heard of obsessive compulsive personality disorder.” And I said, okay, that’s not going to work for me.

2. The therapist’s official title.

They could be called a counselor, social worker, psychologist or something else. They could have a PhD or not, I don’t care. Just let me know what to call you.

3. Where they got their degree from.

Sorry!

4. Gender (at this point in my life).

I’m very cognizant of the role that gender plays and can play in my therapy and other health care. I’ve found therapeutic success in working with both men and women, and right now at this point in my life and in my healing, I am open to working with any gender.

I also believe in the right therapist at the right time. For example, I wouldn’t be particularly excited about talking about boy problems or sex with a male therapist as a 20-something heterosexual woman college student. But my young, hip woman therapist was perfect for that.

Now that I’ve shared what I care about (and don’t care about), it’s your turn. What do YOU care about? What do YOU want in a therapist? Maybe you don’t yet but hopefully this can get you started on some good ol’ pondering.

I will soon be back for Part II of the blog and video series, where I’ll be explaining how I prepare for a first appointment and what I ask the therapist right off the bat.

P.S. in case we haven’t met…

youseemnormal is a mental health platform run by a 26-year-old (hello!) who… well, seems normal. Turns out, my roommate is mental illness. Actually more like my unborn, and non-conceived baby. Because it’s like, inside of me. This is getting weird already.

Topics of focus: self-awareness (we love it), mood, anger management, perfectionism (and obsessive compulsive personality disorder), relationships & boundaries.