yours, mine & ours: our relationship with alcohol
Can you imagine going the rest of your life without alcohol? The rest of this year? How about this month? Imagine… “Imagine what this means for you. No more hangovers, no more forgotten conversations, no more mystery receipts. Your dinner bills are less than half of what they used to be, you get your Sundays…
a depressed girl’s guide to getting things done
Oh, hi! It’s time for disclaimers: things should truly be as easy as possible Don’t make yourself work harder than necessary. Instead, take the time to set yourself up for success. For example, if you can never seem to get your clothes in the laundry hamper, move the hamper to where you remove your clothes.…
i craft for my mental health! (and other benefits)
I have a bit of a lighter post today, talking about ways crafting helps my mental health and wellbeing. I’m excited! I use yarn arts (knitting, crocheting, etc.) as my example of a craft, but of course woodworking, painting, DIYing, etc. are equally legitimate. A step in the upward spiral Particularly people with depression and…
8 tips for improving an anxious day
Anxious days feel like the following for me: While I’m a proponent of the occasional Bad Days, I almost always try to improve my most anxious days. And here’s how I do it: 1. Have 1 thing to do that day This takes the pressure off of completing a long, perhaps unattainable to-do list. Plus…
6 strategies for perfectionists who can never get a handle on their email inbox
I’ve been learning how to manage my inbox – and work – for the past couple of years now. I’m definitely still learning, and learning pretty actively. Today I’m going to write down some strategies I’ve learned through my experience and a couple of different books, including The Organized Admin (Julie Perrinne) and The Happy…
top mental health books of 2022
It was a year of yet another 50 books, and I wanted to do another “top books” of the year post. (Here’s last year’s.) The following are the most impactful books on my mental health that I read in 2022: Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed Cheryl Strayed ran an advice column called Dear Sugar…
What if you just…didn’t? The art of doing as little as possible, the opposite of perfectionism, and an argument against working your ass off
Leonardo da Vinci said, “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” Would you not agree? Why then—even despite understanding the cultural and societal expectations and measurement and definition of productivity—do we keep finding ourselves constantly adding more to the to do list, even when those things won’t get done? While this can indeed be chalked up to…
stop saying my feelings are valid
“Whenever you’re feeling down, just know that so many people have it worse than you.” “Your feelings, no matter how big or small, are valid. All feelings are valid. Speak your truth.” PHEW, am I right?!?!? Which IS IT? Can I care about my botched Starbucks order or not? How about I lost my job…
it’s time! ysn book update & survey open now
Cat’s outta the bag. I’m slowly but surely writing a YSN book! In this post I want to walk you through my idea for this BABY of mine and share a very important part of my writer’s journey: community feedback. As you all know (but I’ll say it again for all the literary scouts reading…
managing self- and emotional-preservation after the overturning of Roe v. Wade
This is a post for those of us who know that is it imperative that we FIGHT, and simultaneously have a barrier to fighting, whatever it may be. Our barrier is a barrier, but it’s not a shutdown. There is a way to care for yourself and participate fully. If any of the following apply to you, you’re in…
Why are we impressed by the bare minimum?
Why are we impressed by the bare minimum? I’m not saying it’s right or wrong. Or that we should or should not change. I’m just looking into what the deal is here. There’s this mailman in the town I work in who is good looking. Once I sent a picture of him to my friend…
what Jen Gotch taught me about perfectionism
I read The Upside of Being Down for several reasons: I love ban.do, I’m interested in mental health, I love memoirs, and the title is catchy af. I wish that were my title. I’m glad I did. Not only is the book title catchy af, Jen’s experience with perfectionism is relatable af. It’s cathartic to…
when “interest” doesn’t cut it anymore — when to stay, when to leave your job
It’s me again, writing about jobs. In this video, I answered the question “do we have to like our jobs?” (Spoiler: the answer is no. In fact, we romanticize the idea of loving our jobs. YOU DON’T NEED TO. It may have benefits but it also has drawbacks.) Today we’re talking about being interested in…
getting the most out of your appointments: how I prep for individual therapy
I’ve always been a person who strives to be prepared. If there’s a way to prepare, I’m doing it, whether it’s a fake interview or practicing for a math test. Therapy should be customized for every client. Therefore it is in every client’s best interest to make the most out of a session. After all,…
something’s gotta give: five first dates
I don’t know if I’m an optimist or a pessimist. I know I’m not a hopeless nor hopeful romantic. You could consider me an evidence-based realist with a mild affinity toward romance. Regardless, I’d really like to write to you and say we’re not doomed. In fact, I first wrote this with a different thesis…
what to do when you’re perceived as weak at work
It sucks when your mental illness colors how people see you. Believe me when I say You’re not your mental illness. Recently at work — since disclosing mental health problems, I might add— I feel as if I’ve been treated differently than before. It’s hard to know if this is intentional or not. I find…
top workplace struggles of people with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD)
I like to start out OCPD content not with a fun anecdote but with its definition. OCPD is not OCD although they can be easily confused. OCD is an anxiety disorder characterized by obsessions and compulsions. People with OCD are largely aware of their Os and Cs. People with OCPD don’t necessarily have that repetitive…
When it’s all too much, you need to accept some things.
Today we’re talking about two types of acceptance: radical and everyday. What’s the difference? Everyday acceptance is accepting the reality in front of us. We use everyday acceptance for the annoyances we encounter, such as dropping the half-gallon of milk in the grocery parking lot or getting beer spilled on your butt at a concert.…
Self care is not easy
The concept of self care as a bubble bath has been covered. So has the concept of self care as “not a bubble bath.” In my POV, both are valid. I wanted to do a different spin. Indulge me as I attempt to bring new perspective to this age-old (like 2 years old) idea. Before…
you forgot to love yourself in your own love language(s)
Do you ever feel like, while in bed and just before falling asleep, you’re missing something? Not a task, nothing work related, but like something’s missing at the very end of your day. One final love ya squeeze. Some self-affirmations. More time to think? Something… I feel this way many nights and yet each time…
top (and bottom) reads of 2021
I’ve compiled my top (and bottom) books of the year. I found it difficult to identify a collection of favorites after having read so many great books this year. It’s also a difficult list to make because the books at the beginning of the year are largely forgotten, and those at the end of the…
but have you considered emotional distancing?
I have a coworker who says she gets disproportionately upset when cars drive in the wrong way in the parking lot. Through more than one set of windows, she has unfettered access to these disappointing behaviors. It’s me. I’m that coworker. Okay, just kidding, BUT I often feel as she does, angry about little things…
the problem with quality over quantity for perfectionists
Dear Perfectionists, Quality over quantity is a useful notion in some areas of our lives. But how does it pose problems in other areas, such as work, school and creative pursuits? Let’s take just a paragraph to orient ourselves around the key elements of perfectionists: We are the people who procrastinate, spend too much time…
8 myths about Love that you need to hear: what I learned from bell hooks
I received All About Love from the library of a friend. I swear that borrowing a book chosen for you by your friend automatically makes us think more highly of the book. (Is there research on this yet?!) At the time I had just read an essay about the importance of friend love called “What…
my perfectionistic mindset barriers to writing, posting, creating
It seems obvious and yet it wasn’t obvious to me: my perfectionistic mindset barriers halt my progress as a content creator (and human) every single day. This post could be construed as a list of excuses but I prefer to frame it as a reflection. It’s more like I’m explaining the outcomes of a self…
Repressing emotions? Never heard of her.
That’s when I realized: I do not operate on autopilot. Ever. In fact I operate on the most manual of piloting, the learning-welding-and-engineering-in-order-to-physically-build-the-pieces-that’ll-make-up-the-plane-that-I’ll-drive type of piloting.
what happened when I asked for accommodations for my mental illness (at work)
I had never had the idea of asking for accommodations for my mental illness until I had the idea of asking for accommodations for my mental illness.
4 boundaries to set to become an empowered empath
Whether you identify as an empath or just have things to work on, here’s how you can become an empowered YOU. Oh yeah and lots of boundary setting. Classic me!
my new therapist has never heard of my mental illness
Going into a session with a new therapist, we all have doubts but I did not expect the therapist to never have heard of my diagnosis.
why being called racist is the end of the world for us white people
Ever wonder why we white people take being called racist so hard? Let me explain our problem.
Balancing self- and emotional-preservation while participating in the ongoing fight against racial injustice as a white person.
This is a post for those of us who are WHITE and know that is it imperative that we FIGHT against the anti-Black, anti-POC, racist SYSTEM, and simultaneously feel we have a barrier to fighting whether mental illness, trauma, emotional sensitivity.
coping with criticism, esp. when you have OCPD
Having trouble receiving feedback or criticism is a human thing. We want to be praised and validated in our work. However, I am a person living with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD), and for me, receiving feedback is a total blow to my system: I’m down for the count, and down and out for the rest…
A discussion on boundaries in new relationships
“Being insecure and feeling ‘lonely’ is the ultimate recipe for self-destruction. You’ve got to teach yourself to feel secure in your solitude. Boredom is the ideal breeding ground for bad decisions.” – What a Time to Be Alone by Chidera Eggerue Seeking instant gratification and connection from new romantic relationships is one of these self-destructing…
healthy work-from-home habits 🤪 / mental health and covid-19 🦠
COVID-19 has lots of us working from home. COVID-19 has lots of us struggling with our mental health. Working from home generally brings two things, sometimes together, sometimes one or the other, and that is: isolation, and burnout — which are rarely ever good for our mental health. And essentially this virus has given both…
all about OVERSHARING – have i said too much already? #healthyrelationships
On today’s #mentalhealthmonday, today we’re going to take a break from everything coronavirus / COVID-19, and we’re going to talk about oversharing, specifically oversharing in new relationships (romantic, friend, workplace). This is a topic that I really just started digging into this past week after listening to this podcast episode about oversharing. Questions answered: Question…
healthy #mentalhealth habits at work *new job* *MY experience*
Today I wanted to share how I am establishing healthy habits EARLY at a new job and what these look like *FOR ME*. I am frankly SCARED that my mental health is going to decline and then mess up me job so i’m really trying to be intentional in the first few weeks for MYSELF!…
VLOG #2: treatment update, saying bye to therapist & imposter syndrome
On today’s #mentalhealthSATURDAY, I answer: – what is UP – what is IMPOSTER SYNDROME – what’s something i should look for when therapist shopping? – my job WORRIES – OCPD and anxiety related – who is the villain in the incredibles – job expectations – more worrying – yes i did start my worry time!…
obsessive compulsive *PERSONALITY* disorder – what is it + what does it look like in the workplace?
On today’s #mentalhealthmonday, I answer: What IS obsessive compulsive personality disorder?What is the difference between obsessive compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)?What are elements of OCPD that can be equated with “positive” traits in the workplace/academia? (In the video above, I call these “pros” of OCPD – that’s really not what I…
FREE WORKSHEET DOWNLOAD! | Letting go of past-self comparison
It’s a fillable PDF so you can type right in it, or you can print it! _________ “I used to be so ____” | Letting go of our past selves | Past-self comparison Social comparison is just a thing. Everybody does it. And I think we’re told often to “not compare yourselves” and “recognize that…
ACKNOWLEDGE tougher moments for yourself + others
I feel like before/during/after tougher moments – whatever those are to you – we tend to want to IGNORE and/or IMPROVE them. We may even be trained to choose one of these methods because we hear them SO often. In this post, I will define the IMPROVE and IGNORE methods, explain their consequences and introduce…
you can say No! saying No w/o guilt – the Year of No
Hello! I posted a brand new YSN video on YouTube, which you can find below. If you prefer to read content, then follow along with this blog! In this post, I will be discussing an introduction to THE YEAR OF NO. Doesn’t that just sound INVITING? Like a carefully curated year of things you WANT…
all or nothing thinking – MHM video analysis
Today I decided to film a day of my life video because this is a period of my life that I don’t think I’ll be in again (without a job and with little responsibilities). You’ll find that my Day in the Life was cut short when my mood swung from hopeful and productive and happy…
a micro-idea about handling mood swings with a romantic partner – “it’s not you”
Hello! I posted a brand new YSN video on YouTube, which you can find below. If you prefer to read content, then follow along with this blog! While I was planning a video with several tidbits about dating with mental illness, I ended up narrowing my thoughts into a single idea: ‘It’s not you’ in…
how i care for my basic needs when depressed
Did you know? I started a youseemnormal YouTube channel and this topic is my first video: Onto the blog post: Sometimes you have the drive to care for yourself. Sometimes you don’t. On a really really bad day or period, one way you can start to feel better – and I mean better, not best,…
reducing rumination – it’s not scary or difficult!
If you’re like me, when something really bothers you, you’ll ruminate on it for an unhealthy amount of time. You may even think to yourself “this isn’t normal.” This happens to me, too, and I’m working through refocusing my energy instead of ruminating with it.
hell on earth – the lamictal rash
For those of you who’ve been keeping up, you may have heard me reference The Lamictal Rash. Here’s my attempt at explaining my experience!
my meds journey
I have been on my fair share of psychiatric medications for three years now. So, what has worked and what hasn’t?
avoiding the weekend blues — how i schedule my time to avoid depressed moods
I tracked my mood diligently over the summer. When I switched to a monthly tracking view, I began to notice a pattern: the weekend blues. Read about how I combat these.
road rage: how to keep calm on the road
I have pretty severe road rage. So whether you’re like me or whether you’re more normal (😉) in your road rage, please allow these tips to guide you in keeping calm on the road.
i’m not perfect
I know that I’m not perfect. Really, I do. And yet I let my perfectionism – and not just perfectionism, but my belief that my work is directly tied to my worth – rule my life. I’ll give you an example – and it’s not going to make sense to most people: I (wrongly-but-I’m-working-on-it) believe…
youseemnormal 